Dating after Weight Loss Surgery

May 19th, 2012 - Posted to Weight Loss

Dating after Weight Loss SurgeryIt is unfortunate and unfair, but our society can often seem to disregard or look down on those with extra weight, and those who are overweight can have a harder time with their romantic lives.

This is an important motivation for some people, especially younger, single people, who seek weight loss surgery. They imagine that it will increase their attractiveness and confidence, giving a boost to their dating lives. The most important reasons you seek weight loss surgery, if you decide to do so, should be health-related.

Fears and Concerns about Appearance

We understand that concerns about appearance can raise powerful emotions, but the link between obesity and many medical conditions that can shorten life or decrease its quality is the primary reason that doctors recommend weight loss surgery. In other words, take care of your health and the looks will follow — and you'll be happier and more energetic to boot.

It's also important to note that rapid changes in appearance can bring about psychological and emotional issues that patients don't expect. At Marina Weight Loss we have professional staff whose job it is to help patients navigate these issues, and they will be happy to confidentially and sensitively discuss any personal questions you may have.

Prematurely entering into a new relationship might lead to problems for you and your potential mates.  If you’ve been out of the dating world for awhile, you should ensure that you are coping well with the changes of weight loss before jumping back in.

Gaining Confidence when Losing Weight

People who lose weight often gain confidence — and that is often one of the most important boosts to their attractiveness. They may find that they become more outgoing and flirtatious, pay more attention to their appearance, start more conversations, or participate more in activities. In general, they do more of the things that they wouldn’t have done before their surgery.

One issue that often comes up for formerly obese single people, including those who have had weight loss surgery, is whether and how much to discuss their weight loss. The answer is: it is up to you! This is your own personal life, and it's your choice whether you share it.

That said, as you get to know a person, it will most likely come up in conversation. When new companions see old pictures of you, when you take into account your dietary restrictions on a dinner date, and in other moments, a conversation about health and past experiences is likely. You are free to talk as much or as little about your surgery, and your life before surgery as you like — again, this is a personal issue, you are entitled to your privacy, and you have the power to decide what you want to share.

However, if your fear is that your new companion will be critical of you, realize that most people admire others who work to improve themselves and their health; you may even inspire them to make positive changes in their own lifestyles! And if not, if someone is critical — well, it's not pleasant to contemplate, but it's probably best to know right away if someone will disapprove of you based on what you used to look like, because that's probably not someone you'll want to continue dating.